Distant Desire
by fiftyfantasies
Summary: It's been a year since the war has ended and Chizuru is growing restless. She has stayed with Sen-hime during the war to prepare for taking her position as the Yukimura clan head. Chizuru has heard the news that the Shinsengumi are alive and journeys with Sen back South. Along the way, they are accompanied by Kazama and Chizuru's feelings become unclear of who she wants to be with.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Just a heads up, this will not go accordingly to the same plot in the show historically. But this is fanfiction so you get to do whatever on here. On with the story!_**

 **Distant Desire**  
 _ **by fiftyfantasies**_

 **Chapter One**

* * *

 _ **Septmember 23, 1870**_

I hummed to myself a simple tune as I read in the gardens, the evening was enjoyably tranquil and warm. Looking around I noticed I was alone this evening, reminiscing in the solitude that the garden offered, a rare occasion. I looked over to the pond and admired the koi swimming around gracefully and the white lotus flowers at their peak bloom. Closing my eyes I sat and listened. The book, _Ancient Eastern Oni History and Clans_ , in my hand became a distant thought to me at the moment.

I listened to the sounds that the garden offered, I listened to the birds that sat in the maple tree, to the little fountain and its gurgling water. Water always brought peace to me for some reason. Water to me was the very resemblance of life, almost nothing can survive without it.

The sun peaked from behind the orange brandy maple tree and shined down onto me, I accepted it's soothing rays as my sore and tired body relaxed. My shoulders relaxed and went limp, slouching my back against the wooden beam that stood on the steps, supporting the roof over head.I internally relaxed and tilted my head back, enjoying the warm soothing rays of the sun on my bare skin and face. I could feel my robe start to loosen, allowing it to reveal my collarbone and completely expose my neck. I bent my legs up and allowed the robe to slide off, letting the sun bathe my bare legs. My hair was still damp from the cold bath I took only a while ago, my chilled goose-fleshed skin welcoming the warmth of the sun.

Whenever alone, I always stole these moments, allowing my body to soak in the sun and it's strange healing powers. The feeling of the sun kissing my bare skin became a secret pleasure of mine lately.

"I see that my reading material bores Chizuru-chan to the point she's falling asleep." I opened my eyes and quickly recovered my legs and straightened my posture. I gave her a sheepish smile. "Not at all Osen-chan! The book is very interesting and informative! I'm just a bit tired from today." I turned to face the steps downward, no longer sitting parallel to the steps, giving Sen a place to sit.

"I'll say. Kimigiku has definitely been a bit stricter than usual this past week, especially todays training. I almost thought that I needed to step in and stop that commotion between you two. I'm actually surprised she didn't leave some nasty bruises on you." The demon princess chided as she took a seat on the steps next to me in her beautiful purple kimono, always dressed and presented formally. As any high born demon princess should.

"I swear. I'm glad you're getting the training you need, but to where Kimigiku is leaving you this exhausted is a bit extreme..." Sen trailed off, already knowing it was no use to try to talk me out of training with Kimigiku. I mentally agreed with her that todays training did seem a bit extreme and gruesome today. Kimigiku sparred with me and trained me thoroughly in hand-to-hand combat. I learned today that I have little to no upper body strength and that her punches were not to be taken light of.

"I know, but I feel that it's my duty to continue to train, in both knowledge and strength. I'm really grateful that you are concerned for my well-being, but... I'm still going to continue my training with Kimigiku." I looked down at my hands, feeling slightly ashamed for having to worry Sen. Sen had no problem with the book and studying part of my schooling. Osen didn't like the fact that I asked Kimigiku to train me and help me defend myself if a time a shall come. No, when the time comes.

"Besides! I'm not really doing anything too dangerous. Kimigiku decided it best to teach me archery since I'm not really improving with my kodachi training." I laughed, yet was embarrassed of my skills with my short sword, or lack of skill really.

"You're not that bad with your kodachi. But at least you make up for it with your archery skills! I'm still impressed with your ability to pick up archery so quickly!" Osen nudged my shoulder with hers, trying to make me feel better no doubt for my lack of skills with swordsmanship. I simply smiled back at her and stood with her when she stood up, no doubt to head to dinner.

After the Shinsengumi left for the war a couple years ago I decided it wise to accept Osen-chan's offer for me to stay with her. At least until the war was over. But as time went on and the war ended, I still continued to live with her. There was no sign of their whereabouts and wether or not if they were even alive and survived the war.

During the time of the war and living with Sen and her people, _my_ people, I started to become more and more interested in my heritage and culture. I slowly started to accept the fact that I was also an Oni like them. But it still took me time to wrap my head around the idea of me being a possible heir to the Yukimura clan.

One day Osen-chan proposed that I should consider rebuilding my clan, I quickly shot the idea down. Back then I was still not used to the previous idea of me being the head of a well known Oni clan. Let alone start the task of reviving a clan. I'm still starting to slowly get used to people looking up to me and seeing me as a clan leader.

As time continued to tick by and the more I continued to learn about my Oni heritage and more about the Yukimura clan, there was a part of me that started to want to fulfill the position that my father left behind, and what my brother sought for. I slowly wanted to become recognized as head of my clan. I knew that what the other clans did to my clan was wrong and needed to be addressed. But not as the same method my uncle Koudo decided to act upon with the rasetsu.

I took it up with Osen-chan to have her construct and prepare me for the position I was wanting to fulfill. I severely underestimated the tasks and skills needed to be a clan head leader. So much politics were involved, lots of rules and regulations were put in place and the culture was so different from regular human etiquette. But my determination allowed me to push through the hard lessons and subjects. I still have much to learn, but I took it as a fun challenge.

Of course it wasn't required for me to be skilled in fighting, as Osen-chan keeps on reminding me, but I still continued to train and prepare. For what? I wasn't exactly sure. But there was a part of me that knew it involved Kaoru. I knew my brother wasn't going to have the best reaction to me taking over as head of the Yukimura clan. I haven't heard from him for the past couple of years since the war started, and that only put me on edge more than ever.

As I sat and ate dinner together with Sen and her family I continued to ponder about my future. I could feel change coming very soon. I knew I was starting to get too comfortable with Sen and her clan. After dinner I wanted to discuss with Sen the fate of the Yukimura estate, or at least of what was left of it and talked about what was to be done.

I took a sip of my tea as we sat outside and enjoyed the summer breeze. "You know Chizuru, you are always welcome to stay with me as long as you want. I could easily find you a suitable husband from a good clan and you could have a new estate built here, and then you could start the beginning of the new generation of the Yukimura clan here!"

I coughed on my tea. After clearing my throat I gave Osen an embarrassed yet flushed look. "I really appreciate your hospitality and letting me stay here with you and your clan. But I-I don't think marriage is on my mind yet, let alone starting a new generation."

Osen gave me a pointed glare. "Chizuru, you are of the age of Nineteen! The ripe marrying age!" I looked away and stared at the pond of Koi fish. I really tried to not think of love and marriage, because if I did then my thoughts would always to start to trail another direction and it made me think of _him_.

"You are aware that I've already had three inquiries of your hand in marriage? Two from my own clans-men and another demon lord south of here?" I tucked my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "Yes." I mumbled into my knees, a faint flush crept across my cheeks.

I thought back to the three men asking for my hand in marriage. The two men I've already met and sadly rejected. Haru was a man that Kimigiku introduced me to when we were training with my kodachi. Haru was a skilled swordsman, son of a wealthy clansman here in Sen's village. The other was a clansman whose wife died about a year ago and I helped him through his grief. The Southern Lord I still haven't met, or plan on meeting anytime soon.

Osen sighed. "I know that your heart still yearns for Toshizo-san, but I think it best if you start to think of a path without him, or the Shinsengumi for the matter. It's been almost a year since we've last heard of them..." Osen trailed off, not wanting to put me into a more sour mood. Every time we talked of the Shinsengumi I closed myself off and was lost to my thoughts of them.

"I know, but it's hard. It's hard to think of another life when I thought I would spend my days with him. At least what time he could offer me." I knew that it sounded selfish, but it was hard to ignore the obvious that Hijikata wouldn't be able to keep up with me in age.

"Actually there's something I need to tell you. I've received some interesting news tonight." Placing my tea on my lap I looked at Sen, giving her my whole attention.

"A southern Clan leader, Eizo Hurataka, has made a claim on my hand in marriage." Sen placed her cup pf tea down next to her. I wasn't sure to congratulate her because I've never really new what Osen wanted when it came to marriage. It wasn't something we discussed often. "I know it's my duty to marry and produce a strong heir, but like you, marriage also intimidates me. So I really shouldn't be the one to chide you when it comes to marriage." Sen turned to me and gave me a cheeky grin.

I smiled back at her. "Are you going to accept his proposal? Osen-chan." Osen gave it some thought as she stared out at the garden and bit her lip with her fang.

"I think I am. My father thinks it's a perfect match, to reunite the North and South once again. Ties between us have been severed due to the war, this should be a nice way to rebuild our connection with them." I looked at Sen with admiration. How she was able to put her clan and duty ahead of her own feelings amazed me.

"Also, there's one more thing. Kimigiku has informed me that the Shinsengumi have been located back to Kyoto. It seems that they are trying to rebuild their units and forces to become as strong as they were before the war." My mouth dropped and my stomach did a somersault.

All of a sudden all of the Shinsengumi that were close to me ran through my head, each one of their faces flashing before me. _Hijikata, Okita, Kondou, Satio, all of them!_

"Who's...?" I was at a loss of words, shock still rushing through me.

"I'm not sure who is there in Kyoto and who is not, but all I know is that they are rebuilding their corps, in hope to be what they used to be before the war." Sen gave me weak smile, already knowing what was running through my head probably.

It was no secret that I was emotionally attached to the Shinsengumi. Many of those who knew about my attachment to the Mibu Wolves disagreed and opposed the relationship I had with each of those men. Most saw it highly inappropriate for a young single woman to live with unmarried men, and others saw it unwise, due to me obviously having the advantage of outliving each and every one of them. And some saw it as a waste, a rare female pure-blooded Oni falling in love with a mere mortal man.

"I'm going to send the Southern Lord my response and I should start preparing to head to the south... I was hoping you'd accompany me on my journey? We will be passing through Kyoto by the way." Sen gave me her cheeky grin, I matched her equally with my own.

"I'd love to go with you Osen-chan." I gave her a side hug, giving her comfort through this major event in her life. This is what she was born for, to marry a noble high blooded Oni like her and myself.

"I'm happy knowing I'll be able to go through this with you by my side, Chizuru-chan!" Osen smiled at me and grasped my hand, squeezing it in appreciation before standing up to retreat to her study for the night, most likely to send her reply to the Southern Lord, leaving me alone with my thoughts and racing mind.

Looking up to the moon I breathed in the cool autumn air. The thought of the Shinsengumi still living and thriving gave me an indescribable feeling of a weight being lifted off of my shoulders. As Sen mentioned she didn't know who was alive and who wasn't. Meaning that they could all be alive and in Kyoto, or they could all be dead, maybe even one of them could possibly be alive.

As I sat on the step I placed my head in my hands, a quite sob escaped me. Nearly every scenario passed through my mind, the bad and the good outcomes of this war tormented my mind.

 _"Please Kami, if the Shinsengumi are still alive and well, keep them that way until I reach them. Please."_ I let out a quite prayer, pathetically placing my hope into that single prayer I let out into that night.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and like the opening so far.**_

 _ **I hope you all leave a review and share with me your thoughts on how I could improve the story and share some ideas so hopefully I could implement it into the story. Don't forget to Favorite and Follow the story! I hope to have a new chapter by next week.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**. .**

 **. .**

 **Distant Desire  
by** _ **fiftyfantasies**_

 **Chapter Two**

* * *

A chill ran up my back igniting a shiver to run through my body, I then chided myself for packing my cloak away in my saddlebag. I wrapped my hands around myself and rubbed my arms to try and stimulate some warmth through the thin material of my sleeves.

I decided to wear my training outfit for the trip, a thin wrap dress that ranged in colors from light grey and lavender to dark grey. I wore tight black sock leggings underneath the skirt that ran up to the top of my thigh. If I didn't, my legs would be exposed to the world whenever I walked, top to bottom slits scattered throughout the skirt which allowed me to move more freely.

Lately, I have been wearing my hair with the top half pulled back in a loose ponytail. My front bangs grew out these past few years, so I pulled them back with the loose ponytail, exposing my forehead and letting my side bangs frame my face, similar to the maiko style I wore a few years back. I let the rest of my hair flow back, reaching a little past my waist.

This morning was a bit chillier than usual, but then again, I was never up early enough to compare this morning to others. I knew thought that it wasn't going warm up anytime soon either since the sun wouldn't rise for another hour or so.

Kimigiku sighed as she finished packing her saddlebag and leaned against her horse Katsu, "What in the world is Sen-hime doing?" She asked as we both waited for the demon princess. I smiled, "I think she said she was going to grab an extra cloak since it's a little colder than usual."

"It's not that bad, but then again you two are never up early enough to know," Kimigiku said while petting Katsu with her knuckles. I looked over to my horse, with his saddle already secured and tightened with my saddlebag attached. I packed light, only needing a few things, which included some spare clothes, hygiene products, a couple of books so I may continue to study along the journey and some snacks for the road along with my water flask.

I attached my quiver and bow holder to the horse, Sora's right side, opposite of the saddlebag. Kimigiku suggested that I get into the habit of carrying my weapon around with me and to also get into the habit of using it outside of training and to aim at something that's not a practice target.

Apparently, there were still many rogue groups from the Boshin War still running around and terrorizing villages, still trying to revision their ideology from the war. Kimigiku only thought it common sense for me to start carrying a weapon around during this time of unrest.

Plus, it was only common sense since we were a group of young women traveling alone.

She also advised it since there is no predominant Oni family in the East anymore, that I may be a target of assassination. Many other Oni families, hungry for power may perceive me as a threat since I will be taking place as head of the Yukimura clan, and therefore be the Oni leader of the East. The thought of taking a position as leader of a large region of Japan to a strong demon race made my stomach drop.

"Sorry! I couldn't find my other cloak so instead, I brought a shawl." Kimigiku sighed again and smiled at her demon princess. Sen only blushed and giggled in embarrassment for making us wait in the cold.

"We should get going before the sun rises so we can get to the South as soon as possible." Kimigiku rose onto Katsu gracefully, Sen quickly followed suit since she wasn't the best horse rider. I bit the inside of my lip before getting onto Sora, trying to be as graceful as my travel companions. I only learned how to ride a horse a few months ago. I quickly learned the skill, but am no master rider just yet.

Kimigiku smiled her dashing smile before urging her horse forward out of the stables and onto the road leading out of the hidden Oni village. I followed behind her and commemorated the village as we left. I spent a good amount of time here, learning and growing here.

We passed the dojo and training field, young men already in the field training doing drills with their katanas. As we passed they all stopped and waved at us yelling their farewells, "Goodbye Sen-hime! Chizuru-hime!" and "Take care of them Kimigiku-sensei!" Sen and I both waved and smiled at the young men training.

I took in the memories of Kimigiku and I training from dawn till dusk on certain days. I was adamant to become a strong leader. We passed a little café that sold refreshing drinks and delicious sweets. I remember the sweet Oni woman and her hospitable attitude. I remember Sen and I spending hours here as I studied about my heritage. A faint light inside, probably the old lady preparing her shop for the day.

When we passed through the village gates I smiled, knowing that in a few weeks I would be in Kyoto soon. To hopefully reunite with the Shinsengumi.

* * *

"I believe we're about sixty miles out of Asahikawa. Hopefully, we'll get there by tomorrow afternoon and stay at an inn for the night, that's if we ride through the night." Kimigiku announced as we packed up and got ready for another sixty miles apparently, only forty miles put behind us. About an hour past noon we finally decided to stop for lunch and rest the horse, much to Sen's relief, as well as mine. It was a little hard for me to walk straight, not being used to ride a horse for more than half a day.

After having a late lunch and letting the horses drink from a near stream, we decided to keep riding on through the night until we hit Asahikawa. I asked Kimigiku about the horses, worried that we may tire them and that we may exhaust them. Kimigiku reassured me that these horses were a special breed and a slightly different species.

"Sora and Katsu are special Oni horses. Katsu was bred in the North, meaning that he has a special the ability to fly." I, of course, was shocked and then laughed at myself for being shocked, I was a demon, something a couple years ago I didn't even think existed. Of course to Kimigiku and Sen, it was perfectly normal for a horse to have the ability to fly.

"Wouldn't it be faster if we flew to Asahikawa?" I asked Kimigiku as we started our trek on the dirt road.

"I wish, but the thing with demon horses is that they have a mind of their own, not like a domesticated human horse. Katsu here is very stubborn and is still yet in training with me. Unless if an Oni and their horse have a very strong bond, then the horse will fly if their master asks. But until you've reached that union with your horse, then they will only fly if they want to." I looked back down at Sora, a little disappointed that I wouldn't experience him flying, but at the same time not too disappointed since I wasn't fully comfortable being on a flying horse, let alone me still getting used to riding one on the ground.

"Besides Chizuru-hime, Sora is an Eastern bred horse, he doesn't fly like Katsu, instead he can swim." I looked down at Sora, a little confused.

"I thought horses already knew how to swim?"

"I mean that Sora has the ability to turn into a water horse, he can go into the ocean and swim underwater." I looked down, once again amazed at this horse, he was a beautiful dapple grey horse that was taller and stronger than your usual horse, a real prize. But other than that he didn't seem to be any different, but to know he had the ability to do something so extraordinary and supernatural, made me have a deeper appreciation for the animal carrying me.

"Let's go a little faster and hopefully we can make it to Asahikawa by morning" Kimigiku yelled to me, Katsu breaking into a trot, which soon transitioned into a gallop. I wrapped my cloak tighter around me and pulled my hood over my head. When Sora ran the rushing air would make my ears and arms cold. Sora's speed enabled me to catch up with Kimigiku in no time. I held onto the reins and the horse's hair, still intimidated by the horse's speed.

We rode for five to six hours, the sun an hour away from setting until it gets dark. Sen was starting to get tired and sore from riding as was I. My thighs feeling like they'd cramp up at any time if I try to move them. Kimigiku kept on a strong face, no telling if she were in any discomfort or not. But after her years of training in many arts, this must come easily to her.

"We'll stop and rest for a few hours once we cross that ridge ahead" I looked ahead and estimated about another hour of riding, excitement filling my system at the thought of resting even if it was only for a few hours. But as we continued at a leisure pace I felt something. I remember this feeling when I was training with Kimigiku.

It was the feeling of a strong Oni presence. Oni's do this when they want to make themselves known, most don't walk around with their aura so present. For some reason, this specific Oni's energy along with two others seemed so very familiar to me.

"Oh no..." Sen sighed and rolled her eyes in agitation, I could see Kimigiku tense and instantly become on guard, her hand inching close to her katana. I had a feeling that they both knew these Oni's, and another part me had an inkling that I also knew these Oni's as well.

Ahead on the road, I noticed three figures also on horses ahead of us. I stared out ahead of us to try and make out a face since this energy was so familiar to me. But I couldn't make anything out at this distance.

"Osen-chan?..."

"It's that no good Kazama and his goons." Osen groaned out as the figures were starting to become more prominent in the distance. _"Kazama-san!"_ I yelled in my head, shock spreading throughout my body. I whipped my head back to Osen-chan, worry plastered on my face. Will he be the same back then? Will he try to steal me away again? What will his reaction be to me after these couple of years?

Looking back out ahead of the road I squinted my eyes slightly and could then start to make out the golden hair of Kazama and the wild midnight hair belonging to Shiranui and also the larger figure of Amagiri. But my gaze remained steady on Kazama.

I haven't seen him for two years along with the Shinsengumi. And the reaction I had to him was the same as each time I saw him two years ago. There was almost a tight feeling low in my stomach that confused me, my heart rate always escalated and my body tensed. I tried to calm the furiously pounding organ in my chest as we drew closer to Kazama and his group, keeping my head low so he won't see me.

"Chizuru-hime, keep your face hidden. I don't think it would be a good idea to have Kazama-san know who you are." Kimigiku instructed me with urgency in her voice as they grew closer to us, and us to them.

"I think you're overreacting a bit Kimi..." Osen said under her breath, but I still did as Kimigiku said. I rearranged the hood of my cloak and pulled it to cover my forehead and eyes, only the tip of my nose and mouth visible. I peeked from under the cowl and kept my gaze on Kazama's figure as we rode closer.

Unconsciously I gulped and my mouth went dry, my hands tightened on the horse's reigns in nervousness when Kazama stopped in front of us. I kept my head lowered and stared at the ground, looking at the horse's hooves that belonged to Kazama and his group.

"What are you doing all the way out here Kazama-san?" Osen asked almost deridingly. My heart quickened its pace when he did his notorious "Hmph."

"I was inquired by that Southern Lord of yours, Eizo, to occupy you during your journey to Kumamoto since I also have business to attend to in the South." Kazama responded in his usual bored tone, not exactly pleased to be near the demon princess either. Neither of them saw eye to eye and only tolerated each other it seemed. Both annoyed each other by one another's personality and raw nature.

"I don't need any more escorts, thank you but no thank you Kazama-san." Sen proclaimed stubbornly with her arms crossed, unswayed by showing her dislike towards him. Kazama not at all affected by her dislike towards him. "Not that I care, but Eizo was very clear that he wanted you accompanied since there are still aftershocks from the war."

"Yes, I'm fully aware that there are still rogue groups out there in favor of the Imperial Court that are harassing Japan," Sen argued back stubbornly, still not wanting Kazama's companionship by any means. But there was a second I caught myself siding with the Southen Lord and Kazama. If we did come across a large group of samurai, how were Kimigiku and I supposed to defend ourselves? I knew that Kimigiku was an exceptional Shinobi, but she like everyone else had her limits. And I didn't know how much help I'd be if the time ever came since I haven't fought anyone other than Kimigiku.

"Are you aware then that there has been a recent movement by those same rogue groups to destroy any demon that they come across? An ethnic cleansing you could call it." Kazama said with disdain and anger in his tone. Clearly not liking the news he just shared with us.

"What?! No way..." Sen's eyes grew big with shock and her hostile demeanor dropped. I also couldn't contain my gasp that escaped me. This gaining the attention of Kazama.

"Is this your companion that you claim will protect you? Seems a bit too small to do that." His tone changed to teasing when he mocked Sen. I can't say I wasn't a little offended either. Does size really matter if I can protect my friend or not?

"She is fully capable of protecting herself as well I." Sen grounded out, once again annoyed with Kazama. Kazama only smirked and folded his arms.

"Oh? She? Another reason to be scared."

This time I was annoyed and I bit my lip to keep from speaking out. Did it really matter if a woman could be just as good with a sword as a man is? Yes, it's unheard of in the human world, but it was totally normal for an Oni woman to be able to protect herself when the time came, just as a man could.

"Does she even know how to use that bow?" Kazama again goaded both Sen and me. I also noticed Kimigiku becoming more and more annoyed with his remarks. Also clearly not liking the fact he was making fun of her ability to protect Sen, due to her being a woman.

This time I made myself known. Kazama's teasing annoying me to the point that I didn't care if he saw me or not. I lifted my head and sat straight, with both hands I lowered my hood, revealing my annoyed glare that I gave him.

Kazama sucked in a breath of air and his eyes went wide with shock. Shiranui grinned before letting out a whistle, receiving a warning glare from Kimigiku. Amagiri simply sat there, unfazed by my reveal.

"Yes, I actually do know how to use my bow." I kept my glare steady on him.

"Chizuru?..." Kazama sat there still staring at me. I knew it was quite a shock, the same I experience a short while ago. I also studied him as he did me. Of course, his physical appearance remained the same, unbothered due to him being an Oni. Though his clothes were the only thing that changed, instead of his white kimono and brown robe, he now dawned a western styled uniform. A large purple coat buttoned up and black pants with boots.

I could tell that his greedy eyes were still drinking in my rather profound change. My hair of course in a different style that now reached a little past my waist, and my wardrobe change was also drastic, the last time he saw me I wore men's clothing, but now I wore more feminine styled clothing. I blushed when I noticed how his eyes lingered on my body.

I did grow up from the young teenage girl to what was I assume my full woman figure. When I resided with the Shinsengumi, I would wrap my chest with bindings, to decrease the size of my chest so it would be more passable for me to impersonate a man. But since living with Sen I have quit that and allowed myself to be free from the restrictive garment, and since then my chest has swelled in size as my hips have become wider and my person slightly taller.

"It seems that our Chizuru has grown up." Kazama finally spoke out, breaking the awkward moment between us. I looked away from him, not wanting to be under his penetrating gaze any longer.

"And why should I allow you to travel with us Kazama-san? Should I expect any funny business from you and your goons?" Sen thankfully took the spotlight away from me and brought it back to the problem on hand. Shiranui "Tched" in offense to being called a goon.

Kazama placed his right hand over his heart and gave her his usual haughty smirk. "You have my word."

Sen placed her hands around Kimigukus hips and sighed. "I guess it can't be helped then. We're riding through the night to Asahikawa." Kimigiku and Sen then started forward passing between Shiranui and Amagiri, Shiranui following behind them, leaving me next to Kazama. My heart sped up and my stomach dropped at this placement. Peeking over I looked at him. His horse trotted close next to mine, and he gave me that same smirk that makes me tense.

 _This will be an interesting journey..._

* * *

 _A/N: Please favorite, follow and review!_

 _ALSO!_

 _I made a pinterest board for this story so you can see Chizurus outfits, her horse, her "new" look. (which is the story's picture)  
Go to Pinterest and search for Fiftyfantasies and you should see a board called Hakuouki: Distant Desire._


	3. Chapter 3

**Distant Desire  
** _ **by fiftyfantasies**_

 **Chapter Three**

* * *

The only thing I could look at was my hands holding the reins, having little to no courage to look at the Oni to my left. I decided to leave my hood off, the leisure pace we were traveling at wasn't leaving me shivering and cold. I was actually feeling quite warm, the blood rushing to my face simply by the nearness of Kazama. His presence alone made me feel exposed, my breathing shallow and heart racing.

I stole a quick glance at the demon beside me again, and to no surprise, he sat there upright on his horse, his focus on the road in front of us. He looked so at ease, it seemed that he wasn't even a bit concerned about my presence. Which confused me, years ago he would've taken this moment to steal me away and make me his wife, but now it seemed as though he wasn't at all concerned about me, almost as though I was a random stranger to him.

I looked out at the road in front of us, the sun had set many hours ago and the full moon was high in the sky, giving the forest a gloomy blue look. I assumed that it was in the early hours of the morning. I kept my cloak on, the temperature had dropped as well with the sun. I assumed we had about fifteen more miles to Asahikawa, which I honestly was looking forward too. My back started to ache and my legs were sore from a full day of riding. I looked in front to see Osen-chan not looking too comfortable either, but did a good job of hiding it. Kimigiku, of course, looked completely at ease, not at all bothered by today's events.

I looked back out at the road, my focus directed once again the Oni beside me. I was perplexed as to why he wasn't talking to or bother me at all. Maybe he was no longer interested? After these past couple years of war and time apart, I'd assume I'd be the least of his worries since he has his own clan to protect. For a moment I wondered if he was no longer interested because he perhaps already found a pureblood Oni woman? The idea of a woman next to him for some reason made me feel queasy and uncomfortable. These emotions confused me, why should I care if he found a wife? If anything I should be relieved that he has found a wife and that he is happy. I should be more focused on getting to the Shinsengumi.

But for some reason the idea of a woman next to him made me feel queasy and uncomfortable, my stomach dropped at that thought. These emotions confused me, why should I care if he found a suitable wife? If anything I should be relieved that he has found a wife and that he is happy and leaving me alone. I should be more focused on getting to the Shinsengumi, and getting Osen-chan to the South safely for her betrothed. After a while, I decided to finally stop thinking about him and try to ease and calm myself.

Then there was a loud clap of thunder.

"We'd better hurry! The storm is right behind us." Kimigiku announced before slapping her reins and making Katsu jerking into a trot. Everyone did the same and followed after the Kunoichi. Sora followed faithfully after everyone without me having to direct him to do so. His sudden jolt to a trotting pace making me wince and groan in pain, my legs becoming quite tired and sore in this position.

I knew that once we arrived at Asahikawa I was going to take a long soak in a scalding hot bath. If I wasn't to preoccupied with daydreaming about my hot bath I'd notice Kazama inspecting my well being after eliciting my discomfort when Sora took off into a trot.

* * *

It was early in the morning when we arrived the morning air was cold and blue as it sprinkled a light shower of rain on us. In the corner of my eye, I caught Sen-chan shiver from underneath her soaked shawl and cloak, not appreciating the cold morning air. I even noticed how Shiranui's warm colored skin covered in water droplets erupted into gooseflesh, but he showed no indication of his discomfort. I also was looking forward to getting out of these wet clothes and into a dry yukata and then curl up in a futon.

We arrived at a rather nice ryokan, that both Sen-chan and I ensured had a hot spring. After the kind older hostess gave us our rooms we rode to the back of the ryokan, informed that a couple of stableboys would take care our horses. We all dismounted and went to our separately assigned stalls for the horses, I once again silently groaned in discomfort when I attempted to dismount, but just fell back into my saddle. My thighs were crying out in pain, they cramped at me for sitting in this position for almost an entire day. I huffed in determination before I flung my leg behind me and over the saddle, quickly dismounting.

The second my feet touched the ground, my heart leaped into my throat as my legs gave out from under me. I reached out to grab onto Sora's saddle but instead, a pair of hands grasped and caught me by the waist, stabilizing my body. I sighed a breath of relief that came out in a visible puff of steam from the coldness of this morning.

"Thank you-" I turned around to thank whoever caught me, but my words were caught in my throat and my mind went blank as I stared up into red crimson eyes and a smirking face.  
"...Kazama-san."

I felt my legs tremble, threatening to give out again and with no other choice I reached out and grasped onto both of his shoulders with a gasp, a blush quickly spreading across my cheeks. I bit the inside of my lip in embarrassment and slowly my eyes looked up to meet his own.

"I see you're not used to riding for long periods of time... Chizuru." His deep inanimate voice and smirk brought back distant memories, but none were as embarrassing as this.

I once again tried to stand on my own and thankfully my legs succeeded, my hands left his shoulders and were now pressed against his chest to try and push away at him gently, but his grasp on my waist didn't falter. Instead, his eyes roamed down and studied me. My cloak was soaked through from the rain and laying across the horses back, my clothes though were also soaked through, the thin material clinging to my body like a second skin, and the chiffon material translucent around my shoulders and arms.

The way his eyes roamed over me made my heart thump wildly in my chest and my face grow warm. All of a sudden everything felt so heightened.

My hands and body could feel the heat radiating off of him towards me through his damp clothes. Then I could hear his heartbeat, completely the opposite of mine, his heart beat at a slow leisure pace yet they were strong and thundering, so like him. I inhaled and I could then smell his alluring scent, he had an anonymous refreshing earthy... yet spicy scent to him. I felt my mouth go a little dry, being able to feel his warmth transfer to my body and being able to breathe him in felt so... intimate.

Looking up I stared into those petrifying crimson eyes and for some reason, perhaps curiosity, I continued to allow him to assault my senses.

I could feel his hands start to lower themselves and settle onto my hips. I could feel the tips of my ears grow hot as I soon recognized the look in his eyes. I wasn't ignorant to realize what his mind was thinking, nor was I daft to not understand that his hands weren't merely holding me up for support. My heart's pace started to finally slow down as I looked up at his eyes, his scent was bringing me an odd sense of comfort. The warmth of his body continued to make my body want to continue to stay close to him.

Realizing this I quickly became unsettled by that notion.

"Chizuru-chan! Are you ready to go up to our room?" Sen's voice called out, breaking the silent trance between us. I blushed again before wrenching myself away from his alluring embrace. I gave Kazama a glare before taking my saddle bag under my arm and close to my chest before brushing past him, getting far away from him.

I tried to hide the blush crawling up my face, Sen-chan could read me like an open book. If she saw me coming out the same stall with Kazama with a blush on my face, that would leave me with Osen-chan raining question after question.

"Eh? Why was Kazama in there with you?" Sen furrowed her brows and gave the said Oni a rather dirty look. I was dared to do the same and tell her that Kazama was indeed being a perverted pest and let her rain hell onto him, but I decided against it. The confrontation would keep me away from a warm futon and hot bath much longer than needed.

"Kazama-san was only helping me off my horse since I'm a bit sore." I wanted to give myself a pat on the back for not sounding like a mumbling mess that I felt inside of me. I gave her a reassuring smile as Kazama gave Sen a conceited "Hmph' and devilish smirk. Sen sighed and rolled her eyes at the Oni.

"Okay... If you say so Chizuru-chan. Let's go to our rooms and change. I'm absolutely exhausted!" Sen turned on her heel and made a bee-line for the ryokan, me following faithfully behind her and as far as I could from Kazama.

As we entered the ryokan through the sliding doors I instantly relaxed when warm air enveloped me. The kind older hostess smiled, her eyes creasing before she bowed and greeted us before directing us to the shoe box so we could change out our boots and sandals for much comfier house slippers. A small shiver ran through my body as I sat on the ledge to change out my shoes, the need to change out of these soaked clothes in exchange for a dry warm yukata growing stronger. I sighed in relief as I untied and took off my heeled sandals flexing my foot out straight immediately once freed. Kimigiku sat next to me and did the same also sighing in relief when taking off her sandals.

I peeled off both of my blood red cloth knee guards, my thigh-high stockings quickly following. I tried my best to conceal my legs underneath the thin chiffon material so I wouldn't reveal my legs completely. Another blush stained my cheeks when my eyes quickly noticed Kazama watching all of my movements and staring intently at my leg as I peeled off the exceedingly long black sock. I furrowed my brows and sent him a venomous glare.

"If you will all kindly follow me, I shall now take you to your room." The hostess started her way up the stairs as I quickly put on my house shoes and followed after her and the group. As we went up the stairs towards our room I couldn't help but let my mind boggle at how our group has drastically changed in under a day. I never thought before leaving Sen's village would we run into Kazama along the way, let alone have him, Amagiri and Shiranui as travel companions now.

The hostess slid open the doors to allow us entrance into the guestroom where the low table and mats were placed, no futons in site. Looking to my right I noticed a woman in the bedroom preparing our mattresses, and to my left, another woman was preparing more futons in another separate room. Out in front of the dining table, I looked out a large glass window that gave an extraordinary view of a far distant mountain and snow on the top of it, the rising sun illuminating it.

The kind older woman ushered us to the room to our right, instantly becoming the girl's and I's room. She slid the door shut and went into the closet to bring out a pile of neatly folded navy blue yukatas. Each had a different design, the one handed to Sen had a paler blue pattern of butterflies, Kimigikus a large white crane and mine had white flowers flowing over the back and to the front.

All of us dropped our belongings into a corner and instantly started to undress, the dampness of our clothes made our bare skin prickle once exposed to the air.

"I would gladly take your clothing and have it washed and returned in the afternoon after lunch. Are there any special instructions I should know before washing?"

"My top is made of silk and needs gentle handling." Kimigiku handed the hostess her pile of clothes neatly folded. I couldn't help but notice to catch the older hostess looking at Kimigiku rather... unapprovingly. I guessed it was from the way Kimigiku dressed, or because also she carries a katana and kodachi. I smiled as I handed her my clothes also neatly folded. "Mine is made of chiffon and will also need gentle handling." I also noticed how she gave me a rather forced smile, her eyes flickering towards my kodachi and bow, also probably not approving of the rather thin see-through material either. The only one she seemed to approve of was Sen, which really didn't bother me.

Once the older woman left I plopped down to sit on the futon closest to the window. Laying down on the futon I reached my hands above my head and stretched out, relieved once I heard a pop in my lower back.

"You're only twenty years old yet you sound like an old 'jiji', Chizuru-chan." I playfully stuck my tongue out towards Osen, which she also playfully returned. Looking over to Kimigikus futon I noticed that she was already underneath her covers lying on her side, and eyes closed, probably in the midst of falling into a deep sleep. Sen also noticed and smiled at her protector.

Sen and I both smiled at each other, both quickly following suit and buried our bodies underneath the thick white quilts, our tired bodies quickly falling into a deep-sleep.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Hi guys! I know it's been a little while but something came up and life happened, I'm currently in Colorado and am freezing my ass off.**_

 _ **But anyway, surprisingly quite a few of your private messaged me and brought up the pinterest board and how you want to me to post somewhere else because some of you don't have pinterest. All I can say is go make a pinterest account! It's free and isn't much of a hassle at all! If I remember correctly all it asks for is your email address and for you to make a password. It will have you do almost like a short survey so it knows what you like to look at, like art, recipes, movies and film stars. And that's about it.**_

 _ **On the board it will show you Chizuru's outfit and how I envision her to look when she's older.**_

 _ **(The stories profile pic is how I envision Chizuru as a little more "mature")**_

 ** _My username on pinterest is FiftyFantasies, the same as my author username._**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Hi everyone! Again, thank you so much for your generous reviews and favoring or following my story. I love hearing all of your feedback on your reviews!**_

 _ **Also a Happy Thanksgiving to all you lovely people here in America! I hope each and every one of you is going to have a feast like I am tomorrow.**_

 _ **Anyway, enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review!**_

 **Distant Desire  
 _by fiftyfantasies_**

 **Chapter Four**

* * *

" _Kill them! Kill them all!"_

" _We can't let them escape, not one!"_

 _All I could smell was smoke, it felt as though I was breathing in dirt. I could hardly inhale without coughing and choking on my own breath. The fiery orange blaze that surrounded me coated me in heat that made my eyes water and my own breath feel cold on my lips._

 _There was a roar of gunshots and horrified screams quickly following afterward. I covered my ears and clenched my eyes shut, not bearing to hear my people scream anymore. But even with my hearing, the horrors outside easily slipped through my fingers and filled my ears._

" _Go Chizuru! Follow your brother, and don't look back." Tears streamed down my face, as I stared up at the woman, a beautiful woman with long burgundy hair and eyes the color of ambers. For some reason, I felt close to this woman, as though she was a very important person to me._

 _The horrors ensuing outside of the temple continued to grow louder and louder by the minute, the fire grew stronger and hotter. The woman gave me a sad smile as she wiped away the tears from my face, her hands were soft and soothing._

" _You'll be okay little one, your Aniki will protect you." Her words were calm and reassuring, the complete opposite of the situation surrounding us. Her words alone fought off any fear that was left in me. Just looking up into her face and eyes gave me comfort that nothing else could._

" _Take care of Kaoru, my little Tsuki." She knelt down on her knees and wrapped her long strong arms around both me and Kaoru. Her embrace was strong and filled with sorrow, tears streaming down her face and falling onto my cheeks._

" _Take care of your sister. And protect her with your life. The future of the Yukimura clan is in both of your hands."_

 _Kaoru nodded with two swords clutched tightly to his chest and his eyes were filled with determination and understanding. "I will, Oka-san."_

 _Mother…_

 _She was my mother. My mother smiled in adoration. "That's my brave little Oni."_

 _A piece of the roof that was on fire suddenly dropped and crashed onto the floor a few feet behind us, a scream escaping me._

" _Now go! Don't look back and run with all your might!" Kaoru nodded his head before grasping my hand and practically dragging me towards the back hallways of the temple._

 _Before we turned around a corner I was able to see my mother pull three arrows out of her holster and nocking them in her bow. She gave me one last tear-filled smile before Kaoru and I turned a corner and the wall blocked her from my view. I then could hear the sound of men yelling violently coming closer towards us, but then screams of pain filled my ears._

" _Aniki! What about Tou-san!?" My heart leaped in fear as another wave of gunshots echoed in the temple hallways. The hallways were dark and had not yet been lit by candlelight. But I could still see perfectly, every detail was still prominent to me. Even in the pitch darkness, I could still see the details of the walls and the strips of wood that made up the floor._

" _Tou-san said he'll be fine, he gave this to me for both me and you. He gave this one to me so I can protect you, Imoto."_

 _We paused briefly right before exiting through the back-shogi doors that lead out into the woods. I looked up into my brother's eyes and was shocked to see no fear in them, but only determination. A determination to protect me and to get us out of this place, our home._

 _He handed me a sword, a short sword. I then instantly recognized it. "But these are Tou-san's swords! How can he fight those bad men them without them!" Dread and fear filled me to the brim once again, to think of father fighting those men without his katana and kodachi was frightening. Even if father was still a dangerous man without his swords…_

" _Hurry! Or else we'll be caught and killed!" Those words suddenly enabled my legs to run nearly as fast as Kaoru as we made our way towards a path that leads us into the forest and out of the mountain and back into the valley._

" _Get those little bastards! We can't let these vermin escape!" I turned my head back and saw three of those bad men start to follow us and their guns pointed straight at us._

" _Aniki!" Kaoru looked back with a frown and nodded at me before he ran faster as those men chased after us. My heart beat as though it would jump out of my chest. I could hardly feel my legs underneath me. The speed at which Kaoru was running was a speed I have never reached until now._

 _On cue as Kaoru and I ran down a steep slope, my legs no longer being able to keep up with my brother. I stumbled the rest of the way down the slope. My father's kodachi still clasped tightly within my grasp._

 _My arms shook underneath me as I tried to sit back up a sharp pain in my side kept me from sitting up straight. A small whimper escaped me as I looked around, my brother no longer in my sight._

" _Aniki?" I searched for him rapidly with my eyes. But he was no longer seen, the sound of those soldiers chasing us was no longer there, I couldn't even hear the sound of my home being attacked any longer. I couldn't hear anything except for me and my harsh breaths._

" _Aniki!"_

* * *

I inhaled a mouthful of air quickly, sweat covering my brow and my hands clenched tightly at sides. Opening my eyes, a small tear escaped and trickled down the side of my face and into my hair.

I looked out the window to see a small finch chirping quietly in the tree's bare branches, sunshine coating the finch's red feathers.

 _It was only a dream…_

I gulped down my anxiety and breathed out my nose slowly, trying to ease the racing organ in my chest. I was surprised that the thunderous beating of my heart didn't wake up Sen or Kimigiku.

I silently groaned as I stretched my legs and pointed my toes out straight, the muscles in my legs tight and tense, then quickly releasing my legs from their stretch as an oncoming cramp threatened the muscle. I then stretched my back and shoulders by raising my arms above my head and intertwining my finger together, palms facing upwards, reaching up as far as I could while arching my back slightly.

"Much better." I quietly muttered out once my body was no longer tight and stiff. Thankfully my body was no longer sore or in any pain from traveling. One thing I quickly learned about my body from my training with Kimigiku, was that not only visible flesh wounds will heal themselves, but also the muscles inside of us heals quickly. Which means I'm not going to be sore or stiff for too long.

Looking to my right I noticed that both Kimigiku and Sen were both still fast asleep in their futons. I figured it was going to be that way for the next hour or so since I'm naturally an early riser. Also, I knew that Sen loved her sleep compared to both myself and Kimigiku, so I definitely wasn't expecting her to wake up anytime soon.

Sitting up I yawned, then grimaced. Was my breath really that bad? I rubbed the back of my head and my fingers stiffened once feeling the nest that a rat must have built in my hair overnight.

I probably didn't smell pleasing either. I rubbed the sleep from my face before silently getting up and gathering my bag, a trip to the ryokan's bathhouse was in order, then definitely a soak in the hot spring.

Silently sliding the shogi door shut, I was relieved to find no one in the living room to witness my bedhead. The door to Kazama's room was still shut, meaning that they were also probably still asleep as well. An idea then came into my head.

Closing my eyes, I focused on the area of Kazama's room. I tried to focus on my hearing, Kimigiku suggesting that I start practice on honing my Oni-heightened senses. It took a minute but I smiled once three sets of breathing met my ears. It was hard to make out all three, but I definitely heard all three of them and silently gave myself a pat on the back for being able to make out their breath.

There was a moment that I took time to listen to each breath and tried to figure out which one belonged to who. But ultimately quitted since they all sounded familiar, it was hard to differentiate each one.

As silently as I could without making a single sound I left the room and made my way down to the bathhouse, relieved that no one noticed or saw me in my somnolent state. I also sent a quick prayer of thanks to also find the bathhouse completely desolate. I hoped to have the same luck and also find the hot spring outside in a similar state after bathing.

I rummaged through my bag to find the oils and soap that I've lately taken a liking to recently. I found myself to start pampering myself and indulging in using these upscale oil's and soap that Sen has introduced me to.

I left my bag in the basket before making my way to the steaming baths.

I moaned in appreciation once the steam of the room hit my body. Looking around I chose the large round wooden tub next to the doors which lead out to the outdoor hot spring. The feeling of the chilly air outside competing with the steaming bath was exhilarating and should awaken me more from my still sleepy, lazy state.

I sighed in bliss as my body slowly eased into the steaming bathtub. My body slackened to the point of my chin rested in the water, my hair floating around me. Finally, I sat up straight and started the task of washing the rat's nest resting in my hair.

I took a quick whiff of the oils in my hand, the scent reminding me of sweet lemongrass. The soap smelling of pears and gardenias. I took my time in the bath, rubbing the tiredness and stiffness from my body.

As my fingers massaged the oils into my scalp I couldn't help but let my thoughts slip to a certain Western Lord. I couldn't help but think of his actions earlier this morning in the stables.

Why the sudden interest? On the road here to Asahikawa, he was completely silent, not uttering a single word to me. He didn't seem to have any interest at that moment, or I could have just read it all wrong and am just overthinking? Most likely.

But what happened in the stables still confuses me. I can understand not letting me fall onto the filthy floor, but for him to hold me the way he did earlier, the way his hands felt around my waist…

I shook my head before submerging myself under the water. My face heating up not from the steaming hot bath but from the memory of his hands and how they felt.

"Stop thinking of such provocative thinks Chizuru." I chided myself as I reached for the soap.

I really shouldn't be thinking of such things, and especially of him.

I should dislike being around him and his 'goons' as Sen puts it. On numerous occasions, he has hurt both myself and the Shinsengumi. He has killed many honorable men, and for what? Me to be his wife and to bare a powerful child?

The thought of being nothing but a broodmare angered me and helped squish the thought away of those warm and powerful hands. The hands of a killer.

But then I couldn't help but admire the man a little, only a little bit.

I could understand how he wanted to rid the world of the rasetsu and to put a stop to my father's cruel intentions of reviving the Yukimura clan. I could understand him wanting to protect his people. In a way, I could understand his perverse intentions of wanting to kidnap me and wanting to keep me 'safe' from the Shinsengumi, who were at the time experimenting with the water of life.

That still gave him no excuse to invade the Shinsengumi headquarters and try to kidnap me the way he did in the past.

I sighed out and grimaced.

Maybe he's not as bad as I originally thought him to be. Maybe he was an honorable man in his own right with good intentions.

 _What he did this morning certainly wasn't honorable… kind of._

Yes, he did catch me from falling onto my face, but to hold me the way he did?

I'm not blind enough to ignore the want that I saw gleaming in his crimson eyes. I wasn't naïve to not know that his hands on my hips weren't only placed there to hold me up straight. I could feel the desire in those strong calloused hands…

My hands rubbed the soap into my shoulders as I thought of hands. Those same hands that can wield a sword like no other and kill without a second thought, they held me with a gentleness that I originally didn't think of him capable to possess.

My hands drifted lower to rub the soap suds onto my chest. All I could think about and see were those crimson eyes, golden hair and that sadistic grin etched on his handsome face. And again his strong hold on me.

A tingle in my stomach and chest ignited when I thought back to how close his body was to mine, and how I could feel the heat rolling off of him. Unconsciously my hand drifted lower to my breast as it rubbed in the soaps suds.

The way his scent filled my head made me want to close my eyes and bask in it. As I thought about it I've never smelled a scent as his that made me feel this way, never has my body felt such an attraction towards a male. A flash of pleasure shot down towards my stomach as I thought of his warmth, scent and those hands.

Never has my body acted this wanton towards Hijikata, and the idea that my body is acting this way towards Kazama angered me. I felt disgusted towards myself for not being able to control my thoughts and my body. I felt as though I was no better than a whore, even though I've never even lied with a man.

"I need to stop thinking about, this." I mumbled to myself as I dunked myself under the water to rinse my body of the pear scented soap and these dirty thoughts. The steaming murky waters of the hot springs were calling out to me.

* * *

I decided that after being down here, soaking in the rejuvenating water for over an hour, it was best to return to the room. Exiting the bathhouse my stomach grumbled and I hoped that lunch was being served.

I wondered who would be up at this time, Kimigiku I imagine would be waking up about now, and Sen no doubt would still be fast asleep. Kazama, Amagiri and Shiranui were still a mystery to me.

I figured that during this trek with them, I would come to learn more about them and their habits.  
Do they like to sleep in like Sen? Or were they early risers? Are they lazy and unkempt?  
I figured that I would find out soon.

Walking into the room I was greeted by no other than the Western Lord that was tormenting my thoughts only an hour ago. He innocently sat at the table sipping a cup of tea, and sadly no lunch served yet.

"Afternoon, Chizuru." The way he said my name in that deep silky voice of his made a chill run down my back.

"A-Afternoon, Kazama-san." I stuttered before making a beeline for my room, my cheeks slightly flushed. How could he speak to me so intimately like nothing ever happened between us in the past?

Entering my room I wasn't surprised to see Sen still snoozing away in her futon, but what did surprise me slightly was to see Kimigiku also still fast asleep in her futon as well. I guess even before we left yesterday morning she didn't get much sleep as she arranged and planned the trip.

Silently I set my bag back in its original corner and grabbed my comb to start the tedious task of brushing out my hair. Part of me loved how long my hair has grown to where it reached my waist, but another part me missed to when my hair wasn't such a tedious task, when I cut it so I could pass as a man years ago.

Thankfully, the oils made my hair more manageable today. In middle of brushing my hair my nose could suddenly pick up the scent of food, but I didn't hear the door open or the hostess announce themselves. My stomach growled on cue as the smell grew stronger.

After a couple of minutes and me being nearly done with combing out every knot in my hair, the sound of the hostess announcing herself along with another hostess signaled the arrival of lunch.

But once I was finished combing my hair, Kimigiku and definitely not Sen have awakened yet, I also didn't hear either Amagiri or Shiranui come out of their room yet, meaning it was only Kazama out there with all that food that was singing out my name.

My stomach growled again in pain, the torment of the smell of lunch becoming too much.

I sucked in a mouthful of air as I prepared myself to go out there and eat lunch with Kazama…alone.

I then had the brilliant idea to bring along one of my father's medical journal. This way I could both read and avoid all necessary talk with Kazama.

Exiting the room my mouth watered at the sight of the table filled with heaps of food, also overjoyed to find my favorite dessert dorayaki.

Kazama eyed me as I sat down at the table, chopsticks in his hand as he ate his salmon. A small part of me suddenly wondered what kind of diet he possessed. Looking at his plate I assumed he was a person that ate healthy and only indulged once in a great while. Which did seem so like him.

I grabbed one of the bowls of miso soup and instantly buried my face inside the medical journal. I read from the journal and occasionally looked up to add more food to my plate, keeping my eyes away from Kazama as long as possible.

But I could still feel his eyes on me, studying me, probably watching me suffer in amusement under his watchful eyes.

"Why are you studying the western techniques of healing?"

His question through me completely off guard. I was silent for a couple of second before my mind was able to muddle up an answer.

"I think it should come in useful one day, I already had basic medical knowledge when I used to live in in Edo with my fath-…Koudou-san." I tried to stop myself from calling him my father in front of others since he was actually truly my uncle. It was hard since I still viewed him as my father, but after what happened with the rasetsu, it was hard to see him as the man I thought he was.

"Hm. So Koudou never taught you your clan's healing technique?" Kazama asked, finished with his lunch and sipping from his tea.

Again, his question through me off.

What clan technique? The Yukimura clan had a healing technique? What kind of technique could this be that didn't follow western medicine? How different was my clan's medical techniques from the Wester, Chinese and European? I suddenly had many question going through my head.

Kazama was able to see my confusion. "It wouldn't be a surprise you didn't know since Koudou did hide your true heritage from you. A shame really."

Kazama stood up from the table and walked over to the window, opening it and producing a pipe from his white yukata sleeve.

I remained quiet, hoping he would continue his explanation. He sat on the seal of the window and lifted his leg to rest his foot on the windows seal, his leg exposing itself.

The sight of his thigh made me look away with a furious blush coating my cheeks. His blithe behavior made want to groan.

After lighting his pipe, he casually sat there and smoked, carefree and watching the birds in a tree below our room.

I came close to standing up and leaving for my room.

"The Yukimura clan is renowned for their healing abilities. They use their Oni reiki to heal the person of their illness or wound, I've witnessed this only once, but that was long ago when I was child. Now that the Yukimura clan is close to extinction, it's a shame to see such a glorious technique to die."

That same determination that pushed to start training with Kimigiku and study under Sen came back to me suddenly. The urge to learn more about this technique flared and I was determined to do so.

"Do you know how I could learn more about this technique?" I asked boldly, no longer self-conscious in his presence.

Kazama looked towards me with surprise on his face, before a chuckle escaped him and walked over towards the table to sit at once again.

"Why the sudden urge to learn a technique? What could you possibly do with this knowledge all to yourself?" Kazama crossed his arms and watched me with scrutiny in his eyes.

"I want to someday pass it onto my children and have it continued to be learned throughout the Yukimura clan once again." I then regretted my words. I didn't owe him an explanation as to why I wanted to learn this technique that belongs to my clan.

"Oh?" The look in his eye certainly made me want to take my words back. The same man that wanted to kidnap me and procreate with me to create a stronger child, just now heard of my desire to revive my clan.

"You wish to revive the Yukimura clan? And let me guess, you wish to do this with that human of yours that belongs to the Wolves of Mibu?"

His words both hurt and angered me. Hijikata is more of a man than Kazama ever could be.

The elders back at Sen's village also expressed their dislike towards my decision, a rare pureblooded Oni like me to go to a mortal man. These people have no idea of what kind of man he was, or any of the Shinsengumi for that matter.

The Shinsengumi men will always have my heart and favor, each one of those men I found more honor in them than I have ever witnessed in my entire life.

"You know nothing of him." I bit out bitterly. I refused to look at him, his careless expression would only anger me more.

"The Shinsengumi are the most honorable men that I have met, and no one can compare to them." My statement was bold, but I meant every word.

"The most honorable men you have ever met you say?" Kazama looked as though he was amused, as if he was just proposed a challenge. He stood up from the table and headed back towards his room.

"I assure you Chizuru," he stopped in front of his bedroom door before opening it. "That you have yet know me." With that said he closed the door and left me alone.

Kazama? Honorable? I wanted to scoff at the idea, but then I remembered my conflict that I had with myself about him in the bathhouse. I remembered the points that I made about him that could be deemed honorable.

I huffed in annoyance, but mostly annoyed at myself. I should have just kept my mouth shut and continued to read my medical journal, because Kazama's statement, in all honesty intimidated me.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to get to know Kazama, I was comfortable with viewing him as a sadistic man with selfish urges. But something told me that this wasn't true at all.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Please review and tell me what you think about this chapter!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Hello all of my gorgeous readers, again, sorry I left you all hanging during this past couple of months. Let me just say that Organic Chemistry gave me an ass whooping this past semester, and I'm hoping that my cellular biology this semester will be a little more forgiving…**_

 _ **Distant Desire  
by fiftyfantasies**_

 _ **Chapter Five**_

 _ **. .**_

 _ **. .**_

* * *

 _Stay awake, stay awake..._

The sound of Sora's hooves clicking and clacking on the ground was probably the only thing keeping me from falling asleep on top of him. My eyes felt itchy and dry, and my eyelids grew heavier by the minute. The slight sway to Sora's walk definitely wasn't helping my fight against the laziness seeping into my body either.

Looking at the sun I assumed it was somewhere near seven six or seven in the evening. We were a little over halfway between Asahikawa and Sapporo. According to Amagiri-san since he's traveled this road before, we still had about forty miles ahead of us before reaching Sapporo. My thighs and lower back cried out and ached in protest at the thought of having to wait another day until being cocooned inside of a warm futon. I already missed the coziness of the inn we stayed at yesterday. We left the ryokan yesterday shortly after lunch and rode throughout the night last night and only took a four-hour break this morning. We stopped for a quick simple lunch four hours ago.

I felt embarrassed and slightly appalled by how pampered I have become while living up here in the Northern Territory with Sen. For the past two years of living with her, she always made sure I received luxury-care that 'every clan leader' should receive, which at first I tried to refuse, but of course didn't want to appear rude and eventually gave in. Thankfully I'm adaptable and was quickly adjusting to living life on the road, which mainly consisted of minimalism and little to no privacy.

It amazed me how we have only been traveling for three, almost four days and already this journey felt as though it's been weeks long. I couldn't imagine the journey being on foot, or with a wagon like Sen proposed before our trip. The wagon would only double our time if we traveled with it towed behind us, and the Southern Lord was expecting us to have Sen there by December, not February. Besides, us having a wagon in tow also increased the risk of burglary.

Looking up to the sky I could see another storm brewing off in the distance towards the North Eastern mountains. The sight of deep grey clouds and sparks of lightning over the mountain, mixing with the orange evening sun was absolutely breathtaking.

"We'll stop here for the night," Kimigiku called out to the group, bringing her and Sen's horse to a halt, I almost sighed out in delight. We drifted away from the road to a grove of trees to hopefully eat something and get some sleep.

Sen slid off of her horse sloppily and raised her arms above her head in a long stretch and groaned while Kimigiku dug through her saddlebag to grab her canteen. Dismounting Sora without falling face first on to the ground and this time being able to stand up without trouble, I walked over to Sen and Kimigiku. Looking over my shoulder I could see the three other Oni's also digging through their packs for water and trying to find something to eat, only for Shiranui to pull out some dried salted meat and nuts.

"Chizuru, would you be able to hunt some fish for dinner while I and the others set up camp?" Kimigiku asked as she was in the middle of taking off Katsu's reins. I nodded, happy to be of some help right now. Grabbing my bow and quiver from my saddle, Sen walked over and laced her arm through mine. "I'll come with you and keep you company, I need to stretch my legs anyway." Sen gave me a gentle yet tired smile with her blanket bundled in her other arm.

"Which means try not to talk and scare the fish away, Sen-hime." Kimigiku sighed with one hand on her hip. Kazama chuckled with a smirk on his lips and Shiranui silently cackled. Amagiri, as his usual stoic self-didn't find any amusement in the joke. Though in Sen's case it was a serious word of caution.

Sen frowned, not at all amused like the other two men were. I smiled and tugged her along. "I always enjoy your company Osen-chan." My eyes shifted towards Kazama and met his eyes. "More so than others," I whispered to Sen silently, but not quiet enough since his smile turned into a frown and his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

Sen followed my gaze and then smirked, "Oh that's not so hard to beat." We both walked away into the woods arms lace together towards a river that we passed half a mile ago.

* * *

 _"How much longer?"_

Sen all but groaned out from a rock she currently sat on with her blanket wrapped around her as a shawl. She sat hunched over with her elbows on her knees and face cradled in her hands, with no doubt a bored expression in her drooping tired eyes.

I looked back at her apologetically, "I only need to two more fish before we can go."

I agreed with Sen that I really did need to hurry, not just because of her boredom, but because the sun would set in a little while. Which would then make it ten times harder to hit a fish in the dark water.

Not to mention my feet were getting pretty numb from wading in the water until it reached above my knees. My hair was let down loose so I could use my hair ribbon to tie my chiffon skirt in a bun to my right side so I won't have to walk back to camp soaking wet. My sandals and black stockings sitting next to Sen on the river bank.

"You know this would probably go a little faster if you would just use your demon senses." Sen drawled out in a bored tone. I flinched and turned away from her. This indeed would go a lot of faster if I turned on my heightened senses. But...

"I...I thought you knew how to use your senses?" Sen questioned with a bit more concerned enthusiasm in her tone from before. I felt my cheeks grow warm in embarrassment.

"I-It's a bit harder for me to learn these things from Kimigiku. I guess it doesn't come as easy to me as it should."

Frustration then made my lips tighten and brow furrow. Trying as hard as I could I tried to 'center' myself and clear my thoughts as Kimigiku had instructed a long time ago. I focused on my energy and directed it towards my eyes.

But this indiscernible energy that Kimigiku and Sen talk about was hard for me to mentally and physically grasp, and in turn, couldn't figure out what to send to my eyes. There was very few and rare moment where I could feel my eyes dilate and for a few seconds, I could see things that were almost unimaginable, compared to the human eye.

For these few and spectacular moments, I could see the specs of dust floating in the air, the tiny fire ant that crawled on the ground and even, tucked away in the forest's canopy, the rise and fall of a finch's breast. It always boggled my mind on how I could operate using my ordinary vision compared to now. It almost felt like I was operating blindly compared to this.

But those few seconds that made me feel like the powerful demon I truly am, those few seconds that clearly differentiated me from humans were always gone too soon as my focus on that invisible energy was once again lost.

Groaning in frustration I slapped the water and stalked towards the river shore to go and sit next to Sen on her boulder.

The Demon Princess sighed and wrapped her shawl around the both of us. "I know you're having a hard time connecting with your inner demon spirit, but try not to give up hope or become too frustrated with yourself." Sen soothed me and drew me in closer for a hug. I placed my head on her shoulder and sighed out my frustration into the evening air.

"I know, it's just that I really am trying, but Kimigiku has tried almost everything with me and I don't want to keep pestering her any longer for that type of training anymore."

"Have you asked anyone else from my village to help you?" Sen asked. I nodded my head but hesitated on naming who it was, but I knew she was going to ask until she knew exactly who. "I asked Akihiro-san a few months ago, even he couldn't help me." Sen brightened at the sound of the man's name. Akihiro was one of the men that Sen tried to talk me into courting. I respectfully declined her numerous times, but that doesn't mean that she hinted to Akihiro to start spending more time with me.

"Oh? And tell me, did you learn anything from Akihiro-san? Anything at all?" I shook my head, Sen's mischevious smile disappearing.

"No, not even he could help me..." I trailed off before leaping to my feet, a fish gliding through the waters close to the river bank quickly grabbing my attention.

With impressive speed for even myself, I nocked an arrow in my bow and quickly shot my arrow into the crystal clear waters of the river. After a beat of silence and me grinning in victory, the fish floated to the top with my arrow sticking out of its side.

"Wow, what a shot." Sen complimented me, her eyes wide at the sudden flash of events.

"Thanks," Smiling softly I grabbed the arrow-impaled fish and waded back to the shore to put it next to the four other fish. "If you can't be proud of your connecting with your demon, at least be proud of your archery. I still think that it's amazing that you're at this skill level after only two years of training. Even you, the modest-bashful Chizuru, have to admit you're damn good with a bow."

I blushed at her compliment and looked away. I waded back into the water to again wait for another unfortunate fish to swim across my path.

Sen broke the few peaceful moments of silence with a dreadful suggestion. "As much as I'm against this, maybe you could ask Kazama-san to help teach you?" Whirling around I stared at her.

"Kazama-san? Why would I want _him_ to teach me?" My arms were crossed, quickly on the defense with his name being spoken.

Sen shrugged, "Well since he's the head of his village it's his job to teach the younger generations how to harness their powers, so I thought it might actually work out for you." Sen then gave me a curious glance. "Why the sudden opposition?"

I bit my lip and looked away from her and back into the water, to search for a phantom fish. "Well... We just never really had a good history between us. Then there was that time of him trying to kidnap me those few years ago. And it still seems he hasn't changed much."

Sen nodded in understanding, "Well, it was an idea since you were struggling with Kimigiku, but if you're so opposed to learning from him I understand."

I kept my focus on the water, but my mind again wandered towards that intolerable man. It seemed these past few days that no matter what, he was somehow the topic of my thoughts, and it was starting to agitate me. This time I was trying to keep an open mind and consider asking him to teach me since I couldn't grasp any of Kimigikus teachings. But I was still hesitant to ask a man who tried to kidnap me, force me to marry him and kill my friends at the same time.

Sighing I cleared my thoughts and started to gracefully wade deeper into the water so I could find and catch another damn fish.

* * *

Walking back to camp, my skirts were slightly drenched from practically running and nearly falling into the river to finally catch the last fish. Which was well worth it since it was the largest one out of all six. The fish were gutted, skewered and ready to be cooked.

"Those men better have done something useful while we were away practically freezing getting their dinner." Sen chided with her chin tucked out. I chuckled at her and her fiery attitude. "Well, you mostly did all the work, but I kept you from getting bored, neh?"

"That you did Osen-chan." I hugged her by her side and made sure my fish smelling hands were close to her face so she could smell them. "Chizuru!" She squealed before ducking out of my grasp before lightly slapping me on my arm. I just stuck my tongue out at her as my defense.

Walking into the campsite the first thing I noticed was how our little area was cleared out and our futons were laid out in a half circle, a large crackling fire in the middle. Shiranui was next to the fire, checking a small pot which I assumed held the rice. Kimigiku looked up from her book and smiled at me.

"It appears Sen-Hime didn't scare all the fish away." Sen huffed and stuck her tongue out at Kimigiku playfully after she handed her three skewered fish over to Shiranui that she carried back from the river.

Amagiri then quickly took the fish away from Shiranui. "A word of caution, if you prefer your food burnt to a crisp, then, by all means, let Shiranui cook your food."  
Both Sen and I giggled and Kimigiku chuckled behind her hand, Shiranui only glared and Amagiri while he stirred the rice.

Walking over to the fire and squatting next to him, "Thank you for the rice Shiranui-san, but I can cook the fish if you'd like?" Shiranui nodded and thanked me with a smirk, "I'll go get some more firewood for tonight." With that, the dark-skinned man stood up and disappeared into the woods.

While attending to the rice and fish I could feel his eyes on me long before I could see them. Looking straight up, both Sen and Kimigiku were talking over something, not paying any attention, and Amagiri-san was near the horses grabbing something out of his saddlebag. Looking over to my left towards Kazama I met his gaze.

His eyes shifted towards my legs and I could feel my cheeks grow warm, and it wasn't the fire that was warming my cheeks up.

"I see that my soon-to-be bride decided to go for a little swim." That nickname that he hasn't used for the past two years made my heart beat wildly in my chest.

"I-I'm not anyone's bride, Kazama-san." I kept my focus on the fire and placed the fish over the flames.

"No," He agreed. "Not yet anyway." With that, he leaned back against the tree behind him and closed his eyes with arms crossed, looking quite pleased with himself.

I felt a twinge of rebellion swell up inside my chest at his words. At first, I tried to contain that bubble of rebellion, but looking over at him with his arms crossed and him looking smug with the idea that he can simply tease me, and if he thinks that I will tolerate that inappropriate teasing...

"No, I'm not anyone's bride yet, but I can assure you that you will not be my husband anytime soon."

His crimson eyes snapped open, and his lips curved downward in a bitter scowl, revealing the tip of a fang. But I stood my ground, I never shifted my eyes away from his and glared back in response. There was suddenly an animalistic part of me that wished I was more in tune with my inner-demon so I could also bare my fangs in retaliation.

But then that angry look in his eye turned into something else, that bitter scowl twisted into a sinister smirk. The way he looked at me as a predator would their prey made me then feel vulnerable and I again felt my cheeks grow warm, but my stare never faltered.

"Anytime soon? Well, I'm more than willing to wait for you, my dear." His words didn't anger me any farther, but they certainly didn't cool the frustration either. With an annoyed huff, I stood up to go and sit with Sen and Kimigiku until the fish needed to be turned over.

* * *

Once our simple dinner of fish and rice was all eaten and more wood was added to the fire, Sen, Shiranui, Kazama and myself all laid down in our futons in hope to get some sleep. Kimigiku sat at the fire next to Amagiri-san, both of them talking about their travels around Japan. Looking at them I couldn't help but admire both of their beauty. Or just how beautiful Oni people were in general.

A chilly breeze passed by and I snuggled deeper underneath my wool blanket. Looking over at Sen I noticed how she was already deep asleep, both her and Shiranui. But looking over at Kazama's futon, he was still awake, his brows were slightly furrowed as he stared up at the night sky.

I wasn't sure if I've seen him not look deep in thought or in a foul mood. What was he thinking that made him seem so stressed? What goes through the mind of a Western Lord? With his focus still on the sky, I couldn't help but look at his features. His blonde hair looked golden in the fire's light, it looked soft to the touch, not coarse and wild like Heisuke-kun or Harada-san.

His skin was pale, yet there were no blemishes or scars. I'd imagine him at least having a few scars with all the fights he gets in, but then again he was an Oni, meaning they would've healed the moment he received them. Also, the factor that he was a very skilled swordsman and warrior came into play, the few times that I've seen him fight with the Shinsengumi proved it, so it must be rare for him to be injured.

Before I could analyze him any further his eyes rolled over to meet mine. I bit my lip and immediately looked away, embarrassed for being caught. But after a few moments of silence, I looked back at him, his crimson gaze was still focused on me, his face unchanging and emotionless. I quickly rolled over, no longer wanting to be under his eyes and the focus of his attention.

It felt as though it took forever, but eventually, I fell asleep, with crimson eyes still lingering on me.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Please leave a review and tell me your thoughts, your responses always motivates me to write more!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** _ **Loved all your appreciation on my last chapter, here's another one lovelies.**_

 _ **. .**_

 _ **. .**_

 **Distant Desire  
** _ **by fiftyfantasies**_

 **Chapter Six**

* * *

 _*Chirp*_

 _*Chirp*_

Silently in my head, I cursed as the sound of a quartet of birds woke me up, the little finches deciding it best to sing their melody right above my futon. Peeking out from under my wool blanket a shiver ran through my body when the early morning air hit my face. Instantly I wanted to just burrow myself underneath the blanket and go back to sleep.

I did.

But those cheery little balls of feathers up above me decided to continue on with their song, if anything, more little birds decided to join in on the song, which in turn made them all louder and more annoying.

Peeking out again from underneath my blanket I decided that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anytime soon. Looking past the glowing coals from our fire, I sluggishly observed all of my traveling companions.

My eyes landed on the first person laying directly across from me, Kazama, who was still asleep in his futon along with his companions- well they're my companions now too I guess. Kazama laid there the same as last night, his face still facing the sky but, more relaxed, and his eyes closed.

I smiled, glad to know he was able to get some sleep since he seemed to be deep in thought last night and having a hard time falling asleep. I wondered if it had anything to do with his lands down in the West. I remember Amagiri-san hinting something similar along those lines to Kazama-san earlier during our lunch break. I remember him advising Kazama to visit his lands since he was the Demon Lord of the West.

The reminder that the man lying across from me was lord over a whole region of Japan was almost daunting.

Well, Kazama-san was an intimidating man to begin with, but with the weight of his title added on made him seem more ominous and thunderous to me.

A small frown dipped my lips.

Was it also because of what I said to him last night?

Well if it was, I hope he actually took my words seriously and didn't simply shrug it off. Because I meant every single word I spoke to him last night. I was tired of being taken for granted by that man.

I looked over to Shiranui-san, who was also still asleep in his futon, his blanket only covering up to his stomach. He was lying on his right side facing towards me and an arm tucked underneath his head as his pillow. Even in his sleep he looked so idly egotistical. How he was able to do that even in his sleep baffled me.

Amagiri-san layed facing away from me, but by the evenness of his broad shoulders rising I assumed he was also still asleep. Without even having to look at Sen, I knew she was still asleep, and was going to stay that way for another couple of hours or so.

Kimigiku though wasn't anywhere near her futon, which was already rolled up and her blanket folded on top of it.

Sitting up I propped myself up against my left arm, a small yawn escaping me before I rubbed away the remaining sleep from my eyes.

Looking over at the wilting fire, I finally crawled out of my futon to add a couple of more logs onto it. Squatting down by the fire I kept my layered chiffon skirt close to me, so it wouldn't catch fire. I sat there for a little while longer to soak in the alluring heat that the growing fire offered.

As I lazily sat here soaking in the fire's heat, I had to admire the meadow to my right and how the morning fog casually blanketed the long dewy blades of grass. The sun had yet to rise and I assumed dawn was another half an hour away, leaving the air blue and chilly.

"Good to see you're awake." My heart jumped, and I whipped my head around to find the owner of the voice.

Relaxing once I recognized the voice, I sighed, "You gave me a fright, Kimigiku…"

Kimigiku sighed in return and planted her hand on her hip. "I need to work with you on keeping your senses open... At this rate, anyone could come up and catch you off guard."

Blushing at the painful truth of her words I looked back into the growing flames of the fire and bit my lip in agitation. The same stress and anxiety from yesterday returned. Kimigiku was right, I needed to continue to train, even if we're on the road or not.

I silently grunted before standing up, trying to become motivated.

"Can we go train for a little while? By the lake perhaps? Then afterwards I can see if I can catch us some breakfast?"

Kimigiku nodded and gave me a gentle smile. With her approval, I walked over to where my saddle and saddlebag was placed to grab my kodachi, bow and quiver of arrows.

"You're not going to need your kodachi this morning, just you, and your bow to get some breakfast this morning."

I almost felt dread fill my stomach as she gave me that small instruction. No use of any sort of weapons this morning meant that I would instead be using myself as the weapon. I never really felt confident when it came to hand-to-hand sparring.

Nodding I glumly left my kodachi standing against my saddle and grabbed my bow and quiver. After tying my quiver to my right side, I came back to Kimigiku's side and was surprised when I looked up to her fire-illuminated face to see that she already seemed to have washed herself before I woke up.

"Let's go."

Before I could ask where and when she left to wash, she turned away and started to jog towards the lake across through the dewy meadow. Quickly following in suit behind her I gripped the bow in my left hand tightly and trotted off along beside her.

Right when I felt that I was keeping a steady pace beside her, the kunoichi then suddenly broke out into a sprint.

Quickly sucking in a shaky breath, I furrowed my brow as I urged my legs to go as fast as they could humanly run. Kimigiku simply looked at me, not showing an ounce of exertion as we both sprinted through the meadow and quickly approaching the edge of the forest.

Kimigiku looked over her shoulder, "Come on Chizuru, tap into your chi and try to keep up." With her words of instruction, I tried to do exactly as she said.

For a few seconds I was able to keep up with her, but the moment I came back to her side she easily left me behind and ran out ahead of me.

I could feel my cheeks start to burn. Kimigiku was hardly giving it her everything as this was probably the slowest she went whenever she channeled her Oni energy. She didn't go too far as she patiently slowed her pace and waited for me to catch up.

Closing my eyes and gritting my teeth, I tried to channel that invisible energy to my legs. Clearing the mind of my thoughts and frustration, I tried to grasp that invisible force and apply it myself and let it flow through me to my legs. But when I opened my eyes I frowned, my pace didn't seem to change and Kimigiku was still far up ahead of me.

"Damn it." I huffed out a curse as we came closer to the lake, already having sprinted most of the way here.

More than anything I wished I was able to tap into my Oni energy, and then finally be able to run here at a speed that the human eye can't even comprehend.

But to my aggravation, I once again failed to be able to tap into the imperceptible energy force. Coming to a halt along the sandy shore of the lake I raised my arms above my head to fill my greedy lungs with more air.

The other demoness stood in front of the lake beside me, I frowned once noticing how her respirations weren't even affected by the sprint.

As I stood there I looked out at the lake and was compelled by the perfect stillness of the blue water. The trilling of a mockingbird's song echoed through the air and bounced off the waters. The longer I stood there the more I felt the need to suddenly immerse myself in those turquoise depths.

"What do you remember about me telling you about taijutsu?" Kimigiku's voice asked from behind me, disrupting the tranquil moment. Turning around I noticed she already tied her hair into a low ponytail behind her.

I stiffened and felt myself grow nervous, Kimigiku putting her hair up meant that this was about to get serious.

"Taijutsu is the ninja art form of unarmed, hand to hand combat." Placing my bow and quiver against the boulder, I raised my arms to tie my hair up and into a high messy bun.

I haven't cut my hair since leaving Kyoto, which was starting to become quite tedious and I was starting to harbor the desire of cutting it back to its original length of when it reached the middle of my back. Now it flows down past the middle of my back and reaching to my hips, coming close to the length of Kimigiku's own hair.

"Good, now do you remember the forms that I taught you long ago to strengthen your core?"

I nodded, sullenly remembering the numerous forms and positions she taught me a couple of months ago. At the end of every set of forms she assigned to me, my muscles would always be shaking and numb while sweat dripped down my neck and arms.

And for Kimigiku to bring back up the old art form of torture, I assumed that I would be going through those same forms and movements this morning. This eased the tension in my stomach of not having to fight her this morning.

Kimigiku smiled, but I could almost sense a grinning siamese cat underneath her smile.

The female ninja then elegantly lunged into a position low near the ground and raised her arms into a levelness with her shoulders and held the position. I followed suit of Kimigiku, with what I hope as much sophistication as her.

We held that form for a couple of minutes, a slight burn ignited in my thighs before moving in unison to the next position. This was only the first form of many, and I could already feel my arms start to grow tired as well.

Kimigiku slowly spinned in her lunged position, low near the ground with her leg extended straight outwards and her arms moving in fluid motions with her. When she twirled low to the ground, her hands lowered as though she was picking something up, then she raised herself from the ground to the next position.

This time we both stood tall and strong, the leg that was extended outward was now holding us up on the toes of our foot, while the other was raised and our knee held close to our chest.

Looking over to the demoness next to me I could once again see her not having any trouble or struggle with the movement, opposite of me, my entire body felt tight and uneven.

We again moved in sync to the next position, but the movement to the next position had me cringe. My knee that was held close to my chest, now raised even more and extended my foot outwards, the tips of my toes now higher than my head. To balance myself, my arm also raised itself higher and behind me.

"Remember to try and breathe with each moment Chizuru, and to also try to find and immerse yourself in your chi. Let it flow throughout your body and your hands."

I tried to listen to Kimigiku's instructions, but my main focus was from losing my balance and toppling over. But once we settled in the next position, I did exactly as she said, to once again find that elusive energy inside of me.

We both settled into a less strenuous position, with knees slightly bent, one behind the other, our arms were leveled to our chest and palms perpendicular to our forearms facing the lake.

Looking out at the lake I focused on the shoreline. I didn't close my eyes completely but allowed my eyes to droop in concentration.

Blocking out the chirps and wails of the mockingbirds I listened to only my breathing, I listened to each respiration, to the swell and depletion of my chest moving along with my breaths.

 _Come. On. Just let me feel that energy a little bit at least!_

I cried out the plea in my head to whichever God was willing to sympathize with me today. But it felt like there was no use, I still could not feel anything different. All I wanted were those few seconds of personal bliss when my chi actually opened and allowed me to feel like the Oni I truly am.

Sighing out my stress I mesmerized myself with the pulling and pushing of the waves on the patchy sands. Staring out at the lake and the large body of water, I found an odd sense of comfort.

Kimigiku and I again moved into another form, this one more strenuous from the last, but I kept my eyes and focus on the lake. Anything was a good distraction at this point from my problems with my chi.

At the moment I was unaware of how the forms and positions felt less strainful as I breathed with each pull of the waves on the shore.

Breathing in the water would rise and climb the shore, exhaling the water would retreat back into itself. My breath and body moved in sync with the waves, no longer concentrating or thinking of any stress from earlier.

My hands moved out towards the lake, one near my chest and the other stretched out towards the waters. Standing in a slight lunge I again breathed in unison with the water.

Ever since I was a child, I remembered never being afraid of the water, unlike so many other children my age. I found peace and solitude with the water, not being afraid to go out in the deep end of the nearby ocean during the summer with my once was father, Koudou.

The water, almost like the sun, energized me like nothing else could. Once emerged in the element, I felt whole and secure.

"Isn't it a bit too early to be dancing around with your chi?" A deep baritone voice behind me almost made me fall over in my lunged position. Looking over my shoulder, only to find Kazama I frowned in embarrassment.

 _Damn it!_

Once again, someone was able to sneak up on me with me being completely ignorant of their presence. At this rate, a herd of cows may as well trample me over since I'm so oblivious.

"It's never too early to open your chi, Kazama-sama."

Kimigiku greeted politely with a bow of her head. I found that since she came from a serving shinobi clan, it was a requirement to show this respect to any noble clan. I though forbid Kimigiku from greeting me like this anymore, it felt far too formal and made me flustered to be treated with such respect from someone training me.

"I see, trying to teach my young bride how to harness her powers I see." His comment made me frown and glare at him for his ability to brush off my warning from last night so easily. He only continued to smirk, not even apologetic.

Before Kimigiku could respond, "I must be blind since I see no bride here that you speak of."

If I had a mother or father present, I surely would have embarrassed them with my witty tongue.

Instead, Kimigiku bit her lip and turned her head away, trying to hide her amusement.

Kazama-san on the other hand only chuckled at the comment, not at all offended. How he was able to brush off my witty jab only made me sigh. There was absolutely no shame in this man.

He stood there with his arms crossed and each hand enclosed in the other sleeve, no doubt also trying to ward off the cold from this morning.

"I came to inform you that your little princess isn't exactly comfortable in my or my colleague's presence without her two protectors." Kazama came closer and stepped onto the beach, approaching Kimigiku and myself.

"Sen-hime is awake?" Kimigiku and I both looked at each other in shared shock. Sen was never an early riser, so this was news to us. Usually, she doesn't wake up until eight, but since we've been on the road, we've been forcing her to wake up at six, an hour before we got onto the road, which Kimigiku still considers late for traveling.

"Unfortunately, yes." Was Kazama's short yet annoyed reply. Even only traveling with us for a short amount of time, he also soon figured out the Oni Princess's sleeping habits. And from my short time with him, I felt that both he and Kimigiku shared similar views of waking early in the morning to be productive throughout the rest of your day.

Kimigiku turned to me apologetically, "I guess this means our training is cut short this time." I nodded in understanding, about to turn and retrieve my bow from the boulder, but paused and hesitated.

"Can I… Can I stay a little longer to try and get us some breakfast for this morning?" Kimigiku seemed a little apprehensive with my proposal of leaving me here alone.

"I'll keep watch of our little warrior here." Kazama offered with a sly smile on his face, making me slightly uncomfortable or a few seconds. His proposal also made Kimigiku more hesitant than before.

Though the slight ache in my stomach was resistant to the idea of going back to camp and eating rice with dried fruit for breakfast. The memory of last nights roasted fish was the only reason that tempted me to want to stay in Kazama's company longer than necessary.

But even then, I was hesitant and unsure if I dared to be alone with this man. Part of me knew he wouldn't go to such barbaric lengths, but that didn't mean I enjoyed his constant teasing and harassment.

"I'll be fine, besides I'd rather eat fish than dried fruit this morning while we can." Kimigiku still seemed hesitant to leave me alone with the person that her mistress loathes and seemed to be weighing her options in her mind. Her mistress also tends to get a little cranky when not fed properly.

"Fine, but if you're not back in an hour, I'm coming back to check on you." As she walked past Kazama I could feel her warning radiating off of her, the stare she gave him could have froze hell over twice.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kidnap your little warrior princess here." Rolling his eyes in lazy annoyance, slowly he started walking closer to the shore and closer to me. As he got closer to me I noticed a small curve to his lip start to form, and I could already feel the tips of my ears grow warm in annoyance.

"Don't give me that glare, it's very unbecoming of you." His lazy drawl came out when passing me and walked to where the water met the sand. He stood there so still, serene and tall as he stared out across the lake and towards the mountains where the sun was rising. In some ways he reminded me of a strong oak tree, hiding the glare of the sun. The only reminder that he wasn't was the slight rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed.

"Are you going to just stand there? Or are you planning on getting us any breakfast this morning?"

Shaking my head, I bent down to remove my sandals and stockings, the coolness of the sand making my toes curl. Looking over the curve shoulder I breathed in a breath of encouragement before finally grabbing my bow and quiver of arrows, I slowly walked to meet the Western Lord by the shoreline.

Standing to his right side and slightly behind him I hesitated for a few quick seconds, but finally, I let my hair loose, letting it fall and hang loosely near my hips. Leaning down I used the string from my hair to tie the loose chiffon material to one side, revealing my bare left leg.

Purposely I kept my eyes low and away from the demon next to me. I could feel his gaze on me even before I stepped foot into the water. The first step into the icy blue water froze the air in my lungs, a string of tingles and shock traveling up my legs and spine.

Pushing through the shock I waded deeper into the water past my knees, the cold sensation behind my knees freezing me in my spot.

"It's a little cold to go swimming this morning isn't it? I don't want to have to save you from the fish this morning." His comment flew over my head because the coldness of the water was so intense.

After a few calming breaths I felt my toes start to go a little numb, not feeling the original intensity of the coldness.

"I'm fine," I bit out as I started to survey the water for any fish.

Out in the distance, deeper into the lake you could see the fish jumping and leaping out of the water, taunting me.

Squinting I again searched the water, but as I did this, the frustration of my poor oni eyesight crept back into me. And again, pushing that elusive energy towards my eyes, I restarted that frustrating dance between me and my energy.

For ten whole minutes of fighting with that energy, I could feel a scream of frustration wanting to erupt from me, tears of frustration beading at the corner of my eyes.

" _Come. On. Feel your energy flow through you and push it into your fucking eyes."_

I all but screamed this at myself in my head. But with each passing second, I could feel the weight of my frustration start to build a pressure. A pressure in my chest and head.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath, after yet another failed attempt, everything around me grew still and instantly that frustration turned into anger. An anger you can feel bubble in your chest to your throat.

"You're going to drain yourself completely if you keep shooting your energy up and down like that." Kazama's voice broke out through the air, reminding me that he was still here, in that same position, arms crossed and standing tall by the shoreline.

"We'll most likely eat rice and dried fruit this morning."

His words from before truly weren't the most demeaning comment he has given me, actually they were constructively cautious, but his other comment made me feel more of a failure. That it was now my fault that we were going to have a pitiful breakfast. This didn't guilt me but instead fueled that anger and frustration ten-fold.

I felt as though something in me snapped.

It wasn't him or the tone of his voice, but the two years of built-up frustration of not being able to use my Oni energy properly, just broke through me.

Turning around and stalking out of the lake, water sloshing around my shins I looked up with unshed tears in my eyes, "You can catch your own damn breakfast." I hissed out while glaring daggers at the man. He stood there with furrowed brows and confusion in eyes.

"Wait, what's wrong?" His tone more concerned and less dull, but that didn't faze me, stiffly brushing past him to grab my shoes, not wanting to be anywhere near the lake, freezing water and _him_.

Kazama continued to call for me in unease, but I still ignored him, walking towards the boulder my shoes rested on, but before I was able to get to the edge of the beach where the boulder sat, my head felt as if it was no longer there.

My knees grew weak and for a slow second gave out, my heart hammered in my chest as I felt myself slowly start to tip backwards. But before I could even level or try to catch myself, a hard solid chest connected with my shoulder and _those_ large warm hands wrapped around both arms, holding me up straight.

With eyes half lidded I brought a steady hand to my head and waited for my senses to be regained.

After a couple of seconds of standing in his grasp I instantly felt rotten, for childishly walking away from Kazama and ignoring him, after he tried to warn me about draining my energy. Slowly turning my head, still a little sluggish, I felt my temple connecting with his chin.

"As I said, you drained yourself with shooting your energy like that." His deep voice rumbled and was more amplified as he said this near my ear. Heat shooting straight to my face and my belly clenching.

"I'm sorry… I really didn't mean any disrespect." My voice low and hushed. I wasn't sure if it was because I still felt drained and sluggish, or if it was because of his close proximity.

"Hm... Not too long ago we were in a similar position, there are other ways to get this close to me." His voice teased into my ear.

This time I actually chuckled, realizing the truth in his words.

"It's a good thing you were there to catch me…" my words trailed off, not believing what I was just about to say.

But as the seconds ticked by, that lazy easy smile left my lips. Reality revealing itself and reminding me that we only had half an hour to get breakfast.

"I need to focus and try to get us breakfast." Was my frigid reply before leaving his safe and strong embrace.

Leaving that lax calming moment, I chided myself for letting myself get that close to him. But at the same time, I was grateful for him not letting me fall and trying to warn me from draining myself.

Again, at the edge of the water, I arrived at that same repetitive mental block. I didn't want to get back into that frigid lake to drain myself from my energy and faint. But at the same time, I didn't want to disappoint my companions with a pitiful breakfast.

Kazama walked to stand evenly with me at the shoreline.

"I can teach you."

I was stumped and felt as if I was being ripped in a game of tug-of-war. His offer made me both nervous and excited. I was nervous because it was hard for me to overlook the fact that this man has tried to kidnap me on various occasions and constantly harassed me with his lewd comments while threatening to kill my friends.

But when I did overlook the past history between him and myself, I was able to see the potential of me, an upcoming Lady of the East, learning from Kazama, the Lord of the West.

I also reminded myself that even before that, I first needed to learn how to be an Oni. And something inside me, a strong gut feeling told me that I could learn much from him.

Of course, Kimigiku is a wonderful teacher, I already have learned so much from her in only two years. She has already taught me how to use a bow, speak like a lady, walk like a geisha and even taught me the art of enticing a man, which I don't see myself practicing.

But at the same time, Kimigiku has other matters to attend to other than me. She is already Sen-Hime's personal kunoichi, trying to get the princess to the south in one piece and unharmed. Kimigiku has also already tried to teach me her ways of connecting with my spiritual Oni energy, which for the past few months, have not been working.

After taking a few seconds of silence on my behalf, I feel that I finally came to a decision. I had reverted back to my earlier argument I had with myself in the tubs at the ryokan.

I actually felt at peace with my decision, not foreseeing any loss in the situation.

"Okay."

* * *

 ** _A/N: It's been a hot minute since I've updated! But I hope you were able to enjoy the chapter._**

 ** _Please leave a review! I love to hear your feedback!_**


End file.
